All of us Apple users have had that moment in our lives when we wondered, “Damn, my iPhone really needs to get a pocket of its own”. Because how else are you supposed to carry that thing? I mean how did Apple even manage to get away with making us hold it in our hands, and even worse, cram it into our regular pockets and bags.
Luckily for us, it looks like the tech giant is finally being innovative and actually caring about the true needs of its customers. Because yesterday, they launched something that has been the need of the hour since forever. I am talking about the godsend that is the iPhone Pocket.
Apple, in collaboration with the Japanese brand Isse Miyake, has launched this futuristic pocket that can bear the heavy weight of our iPhones without any hassle. It is inspired by the “A piece of cloth” concept and what do you know, it is in fact, a piece of cloth. But in more substantial terms, it is actually “3D-knitted construction is designed to fit any iPhone as well as all pocketable items”. Apple also claims that this beauty can be adorned in a myriad of ways: handheld, tied onto bags, or worn directly on the body. I can’t remember the last time any brand— clothing, tech, or otherwise— launched something this multi-functional and aesthetically pleasing.
And Apple has really thought of everything: the iPhone Pocket comes in eight colours to match your phone’s vibe, and in two equally essential versions—a short strap and a long one. The short-strap edition is yours for $149.95 in lemon, mandarin, purple, pink, peacock, sapphire, cinnamon, and black. If you prefer your pocket to dangle dramatically, the long-strap model will only cost you $229.95, available in sapphire, cinnamon, and black.
Apple claims that this design speaks to the bond between the users and their respective iPhones and it couldn’t be more true. Because the lack of a means to showcase the deep bond between users and their respective iPhones has always been a real big problem that the world was suffering with until yesterday. However, now that Apple has stepped in, or rather stepped up, we can all rest assured that the aforementioned deep bonds are all ready for the showing. And the fact that it is so cheap, we are practically getting it for free. Not to point things out, but Apple is spoiling its users a little too much at this point.
There hasn’t been a more useful product since the iPod Socks that Steve Jobs had launched way back in 2004. Now, after more than twenty years we finally have something that rivals the practicality and functionality of those socks, and in far more vivid colours than before. The iPhone pockets are a design marvel that we do not deserve.
In all seriousness though, is this ragebait or irony? Or are they testing consumer loyalty with a product this ridiculous? One thing I know for sure is that this will sell, limited edition that these iPhone pockets are, regardless of how stupid everything is about them. However, a majority of Apple’s loyal customer base is not short of money and this product is the kind of silly purchase that’s right up their alley.
It looks like Apple is doing this just for shits and giggles because there’s no way they can justify this almost 230 dollars product that looks like someone has taken off one of the sleeves of a sweater and then made a mid-sectional cut on it. My mom can knit this revolutionary design in less than 3 hours. And the $80 price difference between a short-strap and a long-strap pocket, is the cherry on top of this whole debacle.
You know a product has truly gone off the rails when it has to be described as “open to interpretation.” Something is seriously wrong when even the vaguest, most abstract marketing jargon can’t explain its existence. On top of it, the pocket looks like it was made with the intention of lending a helping hand to thieves—the thing does not look sturdy in the slightest.
Consumer culture has produced plenty of absurd inventions over the years, but if these iPhone pockets manage to sell out, they’ll undoubtedly take the cake. By the way, who called it iPhone Pocket and not “Hold My iPhone”!
